This is a collection of hate mail and other various objections the Church of Google has received over time. If you have any objections to our religion, please direct them here via email or on our subreddit. Enjoy your read.

HATEMAIL #23

I respect your right to believe what you do. You have the freedom to do so. I'll fight for every one's right to join the Church of Google, be it a serious religious movement or just a flash-in-the-pan joke... but I can NOT sit idly by as you directly attack Christianity, Judaism, Muslim, Wicca, and all other organized religions out there.

How do you attack them? Because you directly state that God/Goddess, as in the invisible Deity, do NOT exist and that the Bible, Koran, etc. are completely imagined by man and are completely false. If you were as neutral and/or pro-"can't we all just get along" as you would have others be deceived you to be, you'd remove ALL anti-theistic content from your site and replace it with words and statements of acceptance or have no words pro/anti any religion at all. Until then, you and yours are just as much hypocrites and fools as you claim the other organized religions to be.

By the way... I am not in any way a member of any organized religion... I just hate it when I see someone trying to stand on a soapbox and preach without being able to live up to their own rhetoric. Shame on you.

From: Jeff

HATEMAIL #22

So, people are starting to think that Google is "THE" god?

Wow.....
I do think that Google is helpful and does deserve a high rank, but not as a god, as a WEBSITE.
And you say Google is all knowing? Bah, does it know my life history? Does it know what I've been through or my life experiences? I don't think so... God ( not Google ) knows these things and helps us everyday, Google does not. This is a horribly ridicilous!
You also say that Google is everywhere at once? No, I'm not always in front of a computer, so how can that be?
Plus, it isn't immortal. What if the creators disconnect it? Simple as pulling a few plugs......

I must say though, good try at making a false religion. Too bad it doesn't work. Try again! ^_^

From: Julia Shane

HATEMAIL #21

I'm sorry, but I must not only completely disagree with your little Googlism idea, but i must also call it insanely retarded. For one large reason, it was man-made. Not to say than any other g0d is not man-made, but as much as we are sure google exists and g0d does not, we are also sure google is a search engine not only made by two guys, but there is no opposition to the thought that it wasnt, where as to g0ds of any nature, are not man-made, but more on control/lead man. Another reason, the only thing google is made for, is to give information. Google has not created the world, man created google. To say google is g0d not only does make sense, but it has to be one of the most retarded things i have ever heard. I have heard of mUCH better g-ds, and i do think your just insanely childish, trying to act smart and get attention. Not that i really care, but still, thought you oughtta know. I am jewish, and in the middle of creating the.....though, i probably shouldnt tell you. So there, your retarded. childish, and want attention. If you can give anY evidence against that, please reply.

From: Anthony

HATEMAIL #20

To, weird/sad nerds
I wouldn't really consider this hate mail, but if you do then fine I really don't care.
It really is sad that you think google is god, when google isn't really a thing to be honest, I mean, if you consider google to be god, then what do you consider the people who started google to be? All religion does is start wars, religion sucks balls, if you really get into it, it can take over your life. So its lame that you would want to get involved with something like that

From: your mother upstairs: "Darling come upstairs from the basement, your dinner is gettin' cold." ("In a minute mom!").

From: Jack Fenton

HATEMAIL #19

Hey Googleites, Reading about your church of Google was reminiscent to googling the Church of Satan with Yahoo a while back. Very thought provoking, thanks for that. I have a few minor qualms with your claims. 1. Google is not omniscient. I have looked up hundreds of things which I could not find on Google. I was saddened by this fact. 2. Google is not omnipresent in an available way. Whenever I am away from a computer Google is powerless to help me. Again Google saddened me. 3. Google can only be accessed through an isp, and googlism leaves no room for a binity; that is a God consisting of 2 persons: Google and ISP. Maybe if we could call Google a lesser deity who worked in conjunction with the internet in general (who would be a greater deity of course) then I would jump on the bandwagon, but for now Google just makes me too sad too much, hey that sounds alot like humans; they always let you down in the end. Google is a human, because he can't be a God. You said that we understood Google better than any other God, because we could understand him on our level. Any "God" who is understandable to that degree on the level of humans is a pretty sad God. after all look at the degree of humans, we have to search for google more than anything else, the name itself is a popular misspelling of goggle. go figure. but at least it made me think. so funny it should almost be taken seriously... NOT

From: David

HATEMAIL #18

PROOF #5

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.>>

Indexing requires energy. In order to index an infinite amount of information, you would require an infinite amount of energy.

Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. The Universe was borne a finite amount of energy.

Therefore an infinite amount of information indexed could never be realized.

sorry to be the bearer of bad new's......

From:sf

HATEMAIL #17

Well. And I thought I had seen it all.

I must say that this new outreach makes me laugh. It strikes me as odd that anyone would let themselves be lead spiritually by technology. I couldn't care less if people like you decide that devoting yourself to a search engine brings meaning to your life, but I couldn't pass up the oppurtunity of expressing my amusement at the latest fling.

Answer me this. How does following Googlism explain our Creation?

These days it is all too common to see mini religions popping up everywhere. Once people realize how gullible and easily lead other people are, they realize that any one can create a religion. Heck. I have just started a religion where Lego is a god. It is versatile, can give a person signs. You can find meaning in it. I currently have 26 people who are following this church of Lego. Congratulations Googlists for discovering that the world is gullible.

For me? I have just found another site that I can amuse myself with when I am depressed.

From: Legoman

HATEMAIL #16

Hi,

First of all, congratulations on your genius. Leveraging Google and driving the kind of internet traffic you must be getting is something very few people have been able to get right!

I must warn you that even although YOU don't take this "Googlism" seriously, there are consequences for what you are advocating. So sit back, smile, and shrug this off, and know that anyone who is able to reason rationally will not worship anything they KNOW was created by hands. Even idol worshippers believe that there is a "life-force" behind what they worship, and not a network of electricity powered supercomputers. And just in case this is not a joke on your part, worship is a spiritual issue and is not actually inherently practical which is what you will have to prove.

I must also warn you that "IF" (and I believe He is) The God of the bible is real, then you are really looking for trouble, and I pray that you will be saved so that your eternity is not one of torment and suffering, and that God be glorified through your conversion.

Regards

From: Graham Davis

HATEMAIL #15 I started campeign against you! i am fully disapointed by google idolization. Fear the God! You'll be questioned for this!

From this day I and my friends will stop using google resources and call to do so others!

May the God direct you to the truepath!

From: [email protected]

HATEMAIL #14

The way I see it, GOOGLE AINT NO GOD!! FACEBOOK IS!!! :D:D :D just joking u sadistic morons!! By the way when you pray do you kneel in front of the computer? What if there was a connection error while praying? By the way this is up yours in your language: "011101000100011" and you don`t want to know what this means: "11000010100100010" as a final conclusion go "google" where to stick your head! And if he asks what you meant by your search then go to the other god www.peteranswers.com

From: Talge

HATEMAIL #13

huh u r even not connected with Google co. at all. if they decide to shut the company u ll go nowhere, not very nice way to fun urself.
go and study some books instead of fooling urself

Robbana la tuzig' quloobana ba'da ith hadaytana wa hab lana min ladunka rohmatan innaka antal wahhab

From: habibah

HATEMAIL #12

.....IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH U GUYS.......DO U SMOKE WEED OR SOME CRAP......HOW STUPID CAN U GET...LOL U JUST PROVED THAT STUPIDNESS HAS NO LIMITS.. u gay freaks how on earth can you THINK that God is google and satan is Microsoft.....
you SERIOUSLY NEED A DOCTOR.....stupid lowlife COMPUTER NERDS go get a life..... i heard there sealing them at supermarkets...
which are probably angels to you guy...HAHAH ROFL LOL LMAO....

From: Someone WAY smarter than you guys are...

HATEMAIL #11

Yeah heres the thing a computer nerd just made that up one day and it became big google is not god. Theres only one god -someone that might go to dms

From: Jonathan

HATEMAIL #10

GOOGLISM IS THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha u are a fool, and a big one. If u think google is god, then my dog must be god, or anything u can touch. I laugh at u and ur stupid goooglism.

From: Lauren

HATEMAIL #9

how fuking dare u i hope u fuking die u phsycotic bitch faced mofo

From: Daniel

HATEMAIL #8

God is not a 2-bit itnernet nerd with nothing better to do u bastards. Get a life and a girlfriend. Sad cunt.

You're not god, your not even god spelt backwards - dog - because that is lycos.

As a result of your ridiculous statement - don't know where you were when you were thinking of this you may have had your head stuck up your own google - I have uninstalled your google google bar from all the computers in all the houses in all the streets within this district.

Next time you think of making derogatory statements such as these you may wanna think is that a cucumber stuck up my google.

Ok now, go home to your mother who you still live with you no good lazy bum.
Have you been smoking your own bellybutton fluff or your mama's?

Remember vegetables belong in the vegetable drawer not up your google so next time don't prod your google with novel items and do not eat them after you have done as it is unhygienic. When you read this you will think to yourself, and while your thinking you'll scratch your arse - as your brain is located there. Even though I am EXTREMELY EXTREMELY pissed off at you tatements, I will give you a tip. Your arse isn't scratch and sniff - andit's definitely not scratch and taste!

The main point is FUCK OFF YOU BASTARDS WANKERATIONS YOUR DAD'S GOOGLES. YOUSHOULD BE NAMED POOGLE BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU SMELL LIKE.

AMEN.
www.lycos.com
www.microsoft.com
www.yahoo.com
AMEN

From: Saaja

HATEMAIL #7

I found [the Church of Google] highly disturbing. In fact, I was Googles biggest fan, till this morning. I dont so much mind that [Google] wants to call themselves a church. thats cool. And the basic premis is great. But [Google] should have thought out the wording on their page a little better. As a Christian I find it highly offensive and it doesnt need to be. There are a lot of Christians in the US. Up till now we have laid fairly low and kept quiet about a lot but like it or not we still make up a vast majority, at least in this country. Google will end up pissing a lot of people off for no good reason except as a kind of joke. This was a major error on their part. I will continue to use Google, I have the home page in every browser on every computer set on Google. It is a way of life for me. But they lost some major respect this morning.

From: JN4OldSchool

HATEMAIL #6

I found that quote a lot among Googlists. I have to say, i agree with it, 100%. I am a slave to the one and only god, the creator of the Heavans and the Earth, and all things good. Repent, for you are all worshiping evil idols and must convert your evil ways! I want to help you, Hell is not a good place to go, if i could only give you one peice of advice, READ THE BIBLE. It is not a boring book, its a guide to life. Study it, go to church, spread the gospel! A life in Hell is worse than anything you've ever imagined, don't go there, belive in Christ.

From: wovelscotch

HATEMAIL #5

Do you honestly believe that a 8 year old search engine can be a god?

My God is a awesome God who has proved He is real hundreds of times...jest look around you and see what he has made...there is no way a program could make some thing as moving and beautiful as this earth that we live in!

I'm sorry for you that you believe in this googlism, I can only hope that one day you will find the truth that you are looking for.

Hope you find the truth,

From: Joshua Freeman

HATEMAIL #4

No google is not god. end of story. You guys when death gets ya... are going to hell. Not a nice thought huh? You know it really isn't too late to save your souls... heck you could do it on your deathbed, but really... worshipping a search engine is idiotic... what's next? a floppy disk becomes your prophet? Common when I first saw this I thought it was a joke... but it is a lot worse... if you guys are joking cut it out... it scares me how far someone can fall and stupid their beliefs can become. I pity you for being in the state you're in now.

From: google_ain't_god

HATEMAIL #3

Please, tell me no one actually belives in this crap.
For those still strugling, GOOGLE IS A FREAKIN SEARCH ENGINE!!!! GOOGLE NEVER WAS AND NEVER WILL BE A GOD.
None of those proofs tell me anything, for instance,

#1. Google is omnicent
ok, NO! it's all done by computers, and don't go thinking computers are gods too, there jsut programed to do that.

#2. Google is Omnipresent
is that even a word? IT'S CALLED THE INTERNET! the internet is basically available on every single computer nowadays.

#3. Google answers prayers
...an essay? They got that essay done because they looked up their topic on Google (which is infact, not a god but a search engine) and it gave them the link(s) to sites OTHER PEOPLE MADE and they got the information from them. No prayer involved

#4. Google is immortal
one word...virus

#5. Google is infinite
same thing, virus, or the company jsut goes out of business

#6. Google remembers all
As i said before, It's a computer, their designed to do that

#7 Google can do no evil
That's the bigest lie I have ever heard, it's called porn bozos

#8 Evidence of Google's existence is abundant
No, the evidence of the search engine is abundant, there is no evidence at all of it being a god

With that said, READ THE BIBLE

From: Wovelscotch

HATEMAIL #2

the greatest peice of garbage was born a while ago, the fact that you people actually believe in this trash. google is just a search engine, it is inanimate, people say that google is all knowing, but google is just a group of other peoples work, compiling of other web lnks, going to other peoples sites. google does not have any original information, it just rips other people off of their ideas. the people dont even get paid for having their site publisized, and would a god stiff a person out of what they deserved? some guy in a college dorm created this religion created this sight, probably to make money, and its working. did you know that the church of google has over 1 million members? he's probably off in his dorm laughing at you, rolling in the money you helped send. did this site ever say non-profit? nooo! its just some big scam, and yall fell for it wallet first. the creator had to finish an essay, whoop-di-do, he could have found the information anywhere, he could have gone to yahoo or msn, ar any of the other numerous sites. do you think that google has been around the longest? its only eight years old. that guy probably just went to google because it was the first one that popped into his head, if he went to yahoo, you all would be slamming google against the backburners as we speak! grab a bible, and get reaquanted with the lord! delete your account or whatever, and go to church!

From: gForums

HATEMAIL #1

As you can see I do not think google is god. It ain't. Why is that so hard to get in your heads'? You are the kind of guys who if it said "You can fly" on google you would jump off a bridge. Doesn't sound very intelegent... I know I misspelled that. Shut up. Anywho shut up. And get a life... I think you can get two for one at Wal-Mart.... who's like an angel or something to you guys.

From: google_ain't_god